just because

I have a vision board on Pinterest called Wanderlust. It’s the only board I am consistently maintaining at this point in my life. I pin lots of pictures of places I want to go. Unfortunately many of them are still of places I have never been. When I was pinning a picture of Stockholm, Sweden earlier today, I thought, oh – this scene reminds me of home. Home is now Nashville and I’m okay with that. In fact, I’m pretty happy where I live right now. It’s not perfect by any means but it feels like home. And I like it like that.

I read a blog by Joanna Gaines earlier today and she spoke about living with a grateful heart. It sparked a thread of thoughts in my head. I haven’t really reflected on my happiness in the moment. I’m always stuck in the past or worrying about the future. I think of adult things like paying off bills and buying a house. If I’m honest, I shy away from thinking of starting a family due to my health concerns because I feel sad when I know right now it isn’t possible. So I distract myself with silly things.

Then I saw a picture of a square filled with trees and pink blossoms, half of which were on the ground and my heart filled with joy. It was a perfectly imperfect scene captured by a quick snap of a camera. It’s beauty so prevalent because of the joy it engendered within me. Moments like this which make me think of where I am right now in my life. I don’t nearly have everything I want and maybe that’s a good thing. I’d probably be unbearably spoiled and self important if that were the case.

So I think of my husband and the love we share. I think of our families in NY (& elsewhere – PA, WVA, NH, PHIL – come through!) and miss them like crazy. I’m grateful for my job (even it’s frustrations) and friends both old and new. I think of where I’ve lived and the moments I’ve experienced (even those I would like to forget) and think Oh, yes! I remember that. And then I laugh because I can’t help it. Which makes me smile and I’m sure that smile is reflected in my eyes and heart, which really, is just how it should be.