Thursday, May 26, 2016

throwback thursday

2015-12-28 16.42.02
^^^my fambam, we're missing a couple of peeps, but I will take what I can get.^^^

My brother uploaded this random conversation between himself, Daniel (our brother) and I back in 2010. We're completely ridiculous and yet my heart overflows with love. We should this again soon. Hopefully. It's times like this where I miss living so far away from family the most.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

just because

I have a vision board on Pinterest called Wanderlust. It’s the only board I am consistently maintaining at this point in my life. I pin lots of pictures of places I want to go. Unfortunately many of them are still of places I have never been. When I was pinning a picture of Stockholm, Sweden earlier today, I thought, oh – this scene reminds me of home. Home is now Nashville and I’m okay with that. In fact, I’m pretty happy where I live right now. It’s not perfect by any means but it feels like home. And I like it like that.

I read a blog by Joanna Gaines earlier today and she spoke about living with a grateful heart. It sparked a thread of thoughts in my head. I haven’t really reflected on my happiness in the moment. I’m always stuck in the past or worrying about the future. I think of adult things like paying off bills and buying a house. If I’m honest, I shy away from thinking of starting a family due to my health concerns because I feel sad when I know right now it isn’t possible. So I distract myself with silly things.

Then I saw a picture of a square filled with trees and pink blossoms, half of which were on the ground and my heart filled with joy. It was a perfectly imperfect scene captured by a quick snap of a camera. It’s beauty so prevalent because of the joy it engendered within me. Moments like this which make me think of where I am right now in my life. I don’t nearly have everything I want and maybe that’s a good thing. I’d probably be unbearably spoiled and self important if that were the case.

So I think of my husband and the love we share. I think of our families in NY (& elsewhere – PA, WVA, NH, PHIL – come through!) and miss them like crazy. I’m grateful for my job (even it’s frustrations) and friends both old and new. I think of where I’ve lived and the moments I’ve experienced (even those I would like to forget) and think Oh, yes! I remember that. And then I laugh because I can’t help it. Which makes me smile and I’m sure that smile is reflected in my eyes and heart, which really, is just how it should be.

Monday, May 16, 2016

Friday, May 13, 2016

a day at the beach


“I miss the beach,” she thought to herself as she sat at her desk typing away at some random report. There was always some report that needed to be done immediately. They were tedious and boring and mindless but they got the bills paid.


But oh, to be at the beach. She pictured the exact scene in her mind as the fan blew directly into her face. She would be walking along the beach by the water, the waves lapping at her feet. Her hands swinging at her side, bereft of technology for once, as she spread them out and took a deep breath. The sun would be warm on her face, even if the rays don’t quite reach her due to her straw hat’s brim. She would look out into the ocean and wonder.


Thoughts would fly through her mind and she would let them. She wouldn’t try to control them for once and would just let them tumble over each other until blessed peace. The smell of the sea would surround her, the sound of the waves crashing on the beach where her feet were would lull her into contentment. “One day,” she thought once more. “I’ll be back.”